I wasn’t as together as you thought. I was confused and worried about my sexuality. I was worried about you being so ill and so upset about Tyler. I didn’t know where I was heading for the future. And I couldn’t handle it so I decided to cut you out of my life to see if that would ease the worry, but if I’m honest it didn’t. When you came back into school like 2 months after your paralysis I felt so guilty. I said that we had “nothing in common” anymore because you couldn’t skate but it was more to do with the fact that you being kind of vulnerable and me in such a mess… I just didn’t think I would be able to deal with it. I was hurt that Mitch stayed good friends with you because he could deal with it and I couldn’t. Although I’ve always been like the person nobody ever took seriously (because I made myself that way), I cared fucking loads about what was going on with you but I couldn’t show it then. Since this year I’ve seen the old Ryan come back (admit it, you were different last year and I get why) and I’m so glad that you didn’t hate me too much. This has turned really soppy and… gay.